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Post by Enigma! on Jul 19, 2005 21:40:39 GMT -5
Justin's Code Three, Modified:
Be patient with people who are illiterate, but have no tolerance for ignorance.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 20, 2005 7:39:23 GMT -5
The Law of Healing: Healing is 10% Medicine, 15% Nutrition, 25% Time and 50% Plain Old Fashioned Stubborness. -- Magnus' Laws.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 21, 2005 19:04:26 GMT -5
The Schultz Law: There are times when you need to know nothing, absolutely nothing, nothing at all.
The Law of The Alamo: When you are outnumbered and the choice is surrender or die... Give them a hell of a fight to remember you by.
The MacAulliff/Travis Law: When asked to surrender, tell them some form of "Go screw yourself" and shoot at them.
The Law of Failed Plans: When all other plans fail, go to plan F... as in Force.
The Daffy Duck Law: Of course you know that this... means WAR.
The Shayera Hol Law: Less talking, more hitting.
-- Magnus' Laws.
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Post by Enigma! on Jul 21, 2005 21:15:47 GMT -5
The Law of Enemy Submission: The best way to punish your enemies is to make them serve you.
(A. Daniel Curtindolph, upon successfully enslaving Sephiroth.)
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 22, 2005 8:09:57 GMT -5
The Law of Movie Weapons - Revolvers vs. Automatics: An automatic pistol, holding thirteen or more rounds when fully loaded, will always need a new clip, usually when it's the worst time. Conversely, a revolver, six rounds, will never need to be reloaded at any point. -- Magnus' Laws.
If I overthrew a previous Evil Overlord and they are now in forced servitude to me, I will not listen to their advice; they are probably in colusion with the hero and, even if they're not, they were overthrown by me, so my knowledge is obviously better than their's. -- Evil Overlord List, Magnus Edition.
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Post by JP Gibb on Jul 22, 2005 21:07:24 GMT -5
Law of weapons and lackies. Several dozen goons can fully unload automatic weapons at the main character without fatally wounding them; conversly, the hero will always one shot-one kill the entire group. (See also: A-Team Exception.)
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 22, 2005 21:39:42 GMT -5
The Law of Death: Only the good die young.
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Post by Enigma! on Jul 22, 2005 22:25:41 GMT -5
The Law of Religious Exremity: Their god is always better than yours, even if you worship the same god as they do.
(Curtindolph Family Manifesto)
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 23, 2005 9:33:30 GMT -5
The Law of The Eleventh Military Commandment: Thou shalt not anger thy commanding officer or thy unit's command sergeant major unless thou wishes to spend many days peeling potatos and other such punishments. -- Magnus' Laws.
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Post by Enigma! on Jul 23, 2005 12:29:09 GMT -5
The "Wicked Scary" Law, as taken from Teen Titans: If there is a monster going after a group of teens, the teens will be separated - either by each other or the beast - and hunted down one by one, starting with the annoying guy who's supposed to be comedy relief.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 23, 2005 14:26:33 GMT -5
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag along.
Especially don't tag along if everyone's going as couples, except you're the odd guy/gal out.
And if you're the gang's jokester, you may as well write up your last will and testament while you're driving with them to the place.
If you walk into the local abandoned-looking church to seek help or shelter, and you notice that the crucifix is mounted upside down, turn around and go back outside as quietly as possible.
People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some point.
If you realize that the people in your town/county are having their minds taken over by some strange force, alien or otherwise: DO NOT call the police as they are A) either already taken over themselves and will turn you in or B) will not believe you, and laugh at you.
While in a horror film, never bathe, especially when in the house alone.
If you have defeated the monster, pay close attention to the camera; if it pans away for no apparent reason at all, get the heck out of there.
If you're not a main character, suicide is a quicker and easier way out.
If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack overly horny teenagers. Children can NOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or absorbed. So cheer up!
When you fight a monster use fire, electricity or acid whenever possible. Preferably use all of the above. And an atom bomb.
--Horror Movie Rules
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 26, 2005 0:45:07 GMT -5
The Theodore Roosevelt Law: "Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting, but never hit soft."
The Third Kirk Law: Spit in the face of 'Meant to be'.
The Tactics Law: If you have the strength of will, you can change anything.
The Law of Mornings: Seeing a pretty girl makes any morning a good one. (Especially if the see-er is J.T. Magnus and the Seen is Jessica Parker.) -- Magnus' Laws.
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Post by BloodAngel on Jul 27, 2005 11:54:34 GMT -5
If your movie is a remake of a Japanese movie, get the hell out.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 27, 2005 15:47:10 GMT -5
The Underground Law: There comes a time when a man must take sides.
The Law of Accomplished Missions: Another day, another enemy's ass kicked.
The Law of The Gem (Raven): Just because there's a prophecy, doesn't mean that's ALL there is to it.
The Raven/Rogue Law: The least outgoing member of any superhero group will be the one who saves (at minimum) the world.
-- Magnus' Laws
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Post by Enigma! on Jul 27, 2005 23:01:18 GMT -5
The "Project A-ko" Law: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will come between to feuding rivals for the friendship of a ditzy girl.
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