Words of Wisdom from the Not-So-Wise

[J. T./Jessica]

If the world's a stage... the script sucks. Burn it and improvise.

[Enigma!]

Improvisation is funnier, anyway.

[J. T./Jessica]

"It's time for us to act sans humanite."
"Sounds nasty."
"It's a Creole translation of a Hausa concept. It means 'I will give you no sympathy, you deserve no pity, and it serves you right.'"

[J. T./Jessica]

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them." -- William Clayton

[J. T./Jessica]

Romanticism versus Realism;

Romanticism; The guy covers the girl's floor, bed and such with rose petals and her first thought is how sweet he's being and how much he loves her.

Realism; "And just WHO is going to be cleaning UP this mess?"

[Enigma!]

Wisdom from the simplest rap song in the world:

READ A BOOK! READ A BOOK! READ A MO'F*CKIN' BOOK!

NOT A SPORTS PAGE, NOT A MAGAZINE,
BUT A BOOK, N*GGA! A F*CKIN' BOOK, N*GGA!

RAISE YO KIDS! RAISE YO KIDS! RAISE YO ***DAMN KIDS!

BUY SOME LAND! BUY SOME LAND! F*CK SPINNIN' RIMS!

BRUSH YO TEEF! BRUSH YO TEEF! BRUSH YO ***DAMN TEEF!

WEAR DEODERANT, N*GGA!
IT'S CALLED SPEED STICK! IT'S NOT EXPENSIVE!

This message has been approved by Tyrone L. Anderson.

[J. T./Jessica]

“Originality is the art of concealing your sources.” - Unknown

[J. T./Jessica]

“Don’t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.” – Unknown

[J. T./Jessica]

“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” – H.G. Wells

“Mind like a steel trap – rusty and illegal in several countries.” – Anon.

"Please excuse me while I laugh like a maniac and plot your eventual demise." -- J.T. Magnus, 2007.

[J. T./Jessica]

"Al Gore didn't invent the Internet. I invented the Internet and blamed it on Al Gore." -- J.T. Magnus, 2007.

[J. T./Jessica]

• 1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
  
  
• 2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Your life is expensive.
  
  
• 3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
  
  
• 4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.
  
  
• 5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
  
  
• 6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.
  
  
• 7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
  
  
• 8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
  
  
• 9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

• 9.5 Use a gun that works EVERY TIME.
  

[/ul]

• 10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
  
  
• 11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
  
  
• 12. Have a plan.
  
  
• 13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
  
  
• 14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
  
  
• 15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
  
  
• 16. Don't drop your guard.
  
  
• 17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
  
  
• 18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
  
  
• 19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
  
  
• 20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
  
  
• 21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
  
  
• 22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
  
  
• 23. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
  
  
• 24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a ".4"
  
  Navy Rules to Gunfighting
  
  
• 1. Go to Sea
  
  
• 2. Send the Marines
  
  
• 3. Drink Coffee
  

[Enigma!]

The Enigma's Rules for Gunfighting.

• If you had to pull a gun on me, you've already lost.
  
• Why use a gun, when you have a planet-destroying pet?
  
• If I pull a gun on you, you clearly aren't worth the effort to give you a REAL fight.
  

[J. T./Jessica]

"Thou Shalt not Irritate the Medics and Doctors, for they have Big Honkin' Needles and the Will to Use Them."

[J. T./Jessica]

“When you do not like the fight, change the rules."

[J. T./Jessica]

No stronger relationship was ever formed, than that of two hearts shattered into one forged. - Anon.

We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.
- Luciano de Crescenzo

I'll give you an exact definition. When the happiness of another person becomes as essential to yourself as your own, then the state of love exists.
- Robert A. Heinlein, "Stranger in a Strange Land"

Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and blows in a fire.
- De La Rochefoucauld.

"Laddie, every woman has her own charm. You just have to know where to look for it."
- Scotty to Riker "Relics", Star Trek TNG

Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy of life.
- Ayn Rand

"I will dine nowhere without your consent although with my present feelings I might be trusted with fifty virgins naked in a dark room."
- letter from Admiral Horatio Nelson to Lady Hamilton (1801)

Neither a Fortress nor a Maidenhead will hold out long after they begin to parly.
- Benjamin Franklin

I believe we 21st-century women are still more Elizabeth Bennett than we are Bridget Jones. There's a reason why there was no "Pride and Prejudice: The Edge of Reason". She may have been misguided at first, but the wise and witty Miss Bennett knew how to hold on to her Mr. Darcy once she got him.
- Magan Basham, "Bridget Jones Defies Reason", "National Review"

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
- William Concreve

"In revenge and in love. woman is more barbarous than man."
- Nietzsche

To Kiss : An attempt to absorb the essence of the other person.
- Casanova

"Her kisses left something to be desired — the rest of her."
- Anon

A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.
- Francois Sagan