Commentaries

[J. T./Jessica]

Basically a place for me and Gibb to stick our commentaries on different nights runs. I.E. Toon Disney on Monday, CN on Saturday, etc...

[J. T./Jessica]

MONDAY LOCKDOWN:
(2/20)

Power Rangers Mystic Force
"Broken Spell"
(Series Premiere)


Okay, I'll be honest first thing: the capes look stupid.

Theme song sucks... It's just "Here come the Power Rangers" repeated over and over again...

Nice backstory/legend.

And the town's name is Briarwood (And Daniel thought 'Scenic City' was bad?)

Xander's gonna be the troublesome ranger...

Chip, you may not be that far off...

*Winces* Never say things like 'The worst is over'...

Sounds like a Ninja Turtle special pizza.

Chip is... interesting...

So basically it's Power Rangers meet Evil Dead since the basic troops are Undead...

"And so there is five..." - interesting line

Yeah, most witches don't look like that.

*Laughs*

Reminds me of the MMPR movie on Phados... Powerless Rangers, great warrior who kicks bad-guy ass by herself...

Nice decor, it's like 'Batman of the woods' or something...

Usually does.

This is why in the military there's a rule: 'Never volunteer for anything.'

They're gonna go in the woods by themselves...

And she is DEFINATELY blond... as in state of mind, not hair color.

Clare turned herself into a sheep.

Oh great...

Great... a giant...

First Tommy/Black DT, then Cruger/SPD Shadow, now Udonna/White Mystic... what's with the current trend of the mentor also being able to morph?

REASON with them? Idiot...

And, as usual before they morph for the first time, the Rangers are getting their butts handed to them.

Nice...

"I like... well, all except the color." - The tomboy becomes the Pink Mystic Ranger...

As usual, the Red Ranger's an idiot who doesn't really believe in himself and his powers. (Jason, Tommy, and Andros being the exceptions...)

That's because you don't really believe.

Why do I think this guy in the blue wolf-stylized armor is some kind of fallen Ranger?

Like that worked SO well the last time...

No, darkness exists when the light is blocked, light freed destroys darkness.

Like I said, I bet he's a fallen Ranger.

And the White Mystic Wand has fallen into evil's hands..

Ok, Snow Staff...

Define a 'normal life'.

Tree-based teleportation... now THAT's creative...

I think the Blue Ranger has a crush on the Red Ranger...

And maybe I'm a Democrat.

Clare... stop while ahead.

Oh-ho-ho... Nice move, Clare!

Most of the time, the leader denies they're any good as a leader. (Or they barely act like it.)

No, most days would probably be worse.

And they instictively know HOW to morph...

"Calling Mystic Ranger" ...Lame.

"Strong as a tree."
"Ever-changing as the wind."
"Fluid as the sea"
"Fast as Lightning."
...Eh...

Like I said before, the capes are a bit overboard...

AND they automatically know how to use their weapons... remember the good old days when Zordon had to tell the Rangers how to use their gear for the first time?

Don't you hate destiny?

And Red will show up... NOW!

NICE kick... poor bike...

I like those Magic World outfits...

"Fearsome as fire" ... Funny, I've never been afraid of fire...

He turned the Hideak into a ball and played soccer with it...

Why do they always have to portray the Red Rangers as these AMAZING fighters?

Cheating on the cleaning... Smooth.

"Who's the greatest guitarist ever?"
"Well, it's gotta be Jimi, but..."
"You're hired."

---------
**==

Get Ed
"Basics"

Oh, DIRECT hit.

Fizz... Super Remote needs LOTS of work...

Ol' Skool turned it on old school style.

Oh, great, Ed spotted a skatepark...

Runaway hoverboard!

Ed's gonna catch seven different kinds of hell...

Ed... you're a bad liar.

Owie...

I like Torch, he's funny.

The E-D is on the K-P.

Oh, spit, Ol' Skool reminds me of some Drill Instructors I've met...

You were a metabuilding and you don't know anything about cleaning house?

I thought Fizz had given the rocket boots to Deets? Or was Deets just testing them?

You're being 'Skooled'...

Ed, you've learned a lot of things, but you're still unskilled in the arts of CYA - Covering Your Ass.

Now that sounds scary...

It's old school. It's a CLASSIC! It's like the '57 Chevy of skateboards!

And now Ed's learned how to Bumper Surf...

For those that don't know, Ed and Deets have one of those 'we like each other but never say or do anything about it' relationships.

Decapitated the clone...

Ed, that was NASTY...

When you're not falling on your six..

The ones in STORAGE? Skool, that's EVIL!

------------
**==

A.T.O.M.
"Enter The Dragon"

Power Outages are bad...

Did that idiot just call a ninja's do-gi 'pajamas'?

On a side note, know what I hate? I hate the fact that so many people think that just because we don't have the same code of honor as the Samurai we have none at all...

Winter already?

Shark puts his mouth in second while his brain's still in first... again...

DAMN! That was impressive! ...Reminds me of one of my sword brother's tricks...

You're not paranoid, you're just jumpy... and someone IS out to get you.

A battle between two Jo-Lan masters... nice...

Axel, compared to some I've had, your day's been positively BORING.

Nice scene...

Honestly, of the five, only Axel, Lioness, and MAYBE King would have a chance... Hawk and Shark would be toast...

You know, I like my fellow ninja's style...

Evil dentist!

You know, I bet if it was Lioness walking in on him in the bathroom or watching him sleep, Axel wouldn't be complaining as much...

Paine... if the ninja knows Axel's dad... he's liable to respect Axel...

You put a tracer on him!?

And he did his job, so he's free to do as he wishes: Including freeing Axel.

Paine's already beat, he just doesn't know it yet...

NICE ONE!

And now, Jo-Lan faceoff!

Lioness! NOT NICE! NOT NICE!

I too wonder what Dragon knows about Axel's father...

[J. T./Jessica]

SATURDAY NIGHT JUSTICE:
(02/25)

JLU
"Patriot Act"

Half an hour until the show... Going by the title, I'm betting Uncle Sam (and possibly the Freedom Fighters) will be in the episode... (Have I mentioned that I like the Uncle Sam character? Even did a Cannonball/Uncle Sam Amalgamation for the Amalgam-M universe...)

Rule number 3,976: NEVER been over to pick stuff up when surrounded by enemies!

"Captain Nazi"!?! INSULTING SONS OF CAMELS! (Captain America fan here, remember?)

I'd say this is a prelude to Waller's days as League laison.

Hey, you guys are the ones who kidnapped one of his teammates. NEVER kidnap someone's teammates...

Did he just say... 'follow the rules...'? (in the same sentence as Clint Eastwood...)

The Ray is part of Freedom Fighters, not the Justice League!

I'm with Shining Knight on this one. (I'm the one who said that he'd rather fight terrorists than sit through a school pep rally...)

Would you believe I don't trust Eiling? (Actually, I never trust anyone outside the 'family'...)

Great, Eiling's injecting himself with the Nazi SSF...

Origin like Cap, looks and moves like Hulk.... MARVEL RIP-OFF!

You know, I think I'll get that copy of Secret Origins with Vigilante's origin in it...

Hey! It's the Newsboy Legion! (But no Guardian...)

If you're there to protect them, then why are you the one destroying the city?

You know, I like those kids...

OOH, hanging here!

YEE-HAH!

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what fliers call a 'Fox-Five'.

And as usual, low tech (sword) saves the day...)

Crimson Avenger, eh...

And if he's GA's EX-Partner, then he's called Arsenal now, not Speedy...

Uh... Boom...?

Oh... Shit. He's still standing...

And that's why the army would beat your ass given the chance, you insult to the uniform!

*Chuckles.*

Wrong, we need the likes of them to protect us from the likes of you. That's the difference between our kinds; you believe that strength is physical and power is all that matters.... We know that strength is inside. Superpowers are an addition to that strength, not the source of it.

Ok, I was wrong, the Freedom Fighters didn't appear...

[J. T./Jessica]

MONDAY NIGHT SHOW-BALL:
(2/27)

Power Rangers Mystic Force
"Code Breakers"

Clare.....

Did Nick just call Vida 'Pinky'?

Mystic Racers... that 'powered down' into BROOMS?!

So, basically it's a 'gain skills as you level up' thing, like in an FF?

Ok, Chip and Vida's thing is reminding me SERIOUSLY of Bulk and Skull...

Xander, don't tell me...

Yep... he's gonna try TALKING to her.

Okay, so it's not "Calling Mystic Ranger" it's "Galwit Mysto Ranger"

More like making complete idiots of yourselves...

Heroism is knowing you're afraid and fighting anyway...

That was disgusting...

Now they've changed it from "Fearsome as Fire" to "Forceful as Fire".

I hate episodes with morals...

They BECOME the Zords (Titans)... funky...

Has anyone noticed that Nick keeps doing a move similar to FFX's Blitzball's "Sphere Shot"?

Ugly thing, ain't it...?

So, Megazord time?

Ok, Dragon Formation time.

And AGAIN with the Sphere Shot...

Phineas is... interesting...

The Master... is a dragon. (I can recognize the eye-style.)

----

GET ED
"Basics"

I guess anything related to Ed.

Dojo needs to reclaim that Map Key....

*Gulps* That's H-Squirrel turf...

A 'headache'?

Deets stole my line...

Skool... even mine are better than that.

Okay, snapping at Loogie I understand, but why would Ed get mad at Deets, they like each other!

Ouch. Damn...

And I thought I had a temper and attitude...

Bet that orb Bedlam found is connected to Ed's personality. If its in evil hands he turns bad.

Someone needs to whap the guys who created "Six Million Dollar Man".

Yeah, and we all know you LIKE Ed.

Uh, a fight breaking out?

I like seeing Ol' Skool break out the Big Dog...

Continuality Error, at the end of the last episode, Ol' Skool added wheels to Ed's Hoverboard, but they're no longer there.

Secure? Skool, it makes The Pit look like an open house.

You.

And you guys keep Loogie around... why?

And I thought Bruce Banner had problems...

Unfortunately for you, Bedlam.

Odds are STILL in Dojo's favor.

Murphy's Law of Warfare: If your ambush is going well, it's a trap.

An idiot?

Yes, it IS going to be messy. Poor you...

Ed's about to take Bedlam APART, that's what's happening...

You would...

Oh, nice, To Be Continued...

---

MONSTER HOUSE
"Farewell House"

The series finale...

Tombstone's been on what? Two Monster Houses and Three Monster Garages?

Funeral Parlor living room...

A crashed hearse...

And a... Hot Tub Toilet....

And Tombstone's on the phone.... again.

Coffin tv center, Crematorium fireplace, dragster bar.

Hearse barbeque and... the toilet.

God help us.

Meaning that when you guys win, you'll have really earned it.

Someone call Monster Garage, we're tearing down a car here!

Hey, things are different when you're the one on the hotseat.

So basically this is an uncut episode as well?

You guys are evil.

Tombstone looks stupid...

Don't they make pnumatics that would do that?

If I remember my Monster Garage correctly, doesn't Tombstone already have a Go-Koffin?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
He'd get paid more money to put clothes on!

That shitter would hold a BIG turd...

Who the hell uses INSTRUCTIONS?!

Oh, how nice, there's a wildfire coming towards the build...

What a kick in the pants it would be if the wildfires ruined the build...

Damn, I hate it when I'm right...

Yeah, it'd be a bitch to have to redo the toilet.

So even on the final build they'll be ending the build one builder short...

Steve he ain't...

If it works, I'll be...

I'm mighty surprised...

AH! He nearly crashed into that SUV.

Spray it thick enough it's bulletproof...

Lotta 'lasts' right there...

I hate finales. I didn't even watch the finale of S.P.D. because I liked the show so much I didn't want it to end... And now, Monster House is going...

.
.
.
.
"DONE!"

*Blinks back tears.*

Yeah, but I don't see Jesse James anywhere...

Just remember, Tombstone; the little toilet is the crapper, the big one in the spa - not the other way around.

---

ATOM
"Deep"/"In Too Deep"

Hawk's still stuck-up.

I bet he doesn't know how to swim...

I'm with Shark, count me out of anything formal or fancy. (Exceptions include weddings and graduations.)

I believe the term is... "Meow..."

You had to ask, King?

Even money Lioness and Axel end up dancing at some point (and I ain't even laying odds on the fact that it'll get interrupted.)

Except when the others are pissed at you.

Oh, look, tako.

Notice they didn't answer...

Like I haven't heard THAT plan before...

Oh, good, the party's gonna be attacked.

Uh, the huge freakin' octopi attacking the ship, idiot!

One problem, when the sled was abandoned, it was undamaged.

Ha! I KNEW IT!

And watch where you put your hands.

Notice Axel names Lioness first...

Yes, Hawk, that WAS an insult.

One miracle, coming up.

[J. T./Jessica]

SATURDAY SPEED:
(4/4)

JLU
"The Great Brain Robbery"

(Turbo here, locked, dropped and ready to review.)

So, Lex Luthor has a cyber-fetish?

In a word... Duh.

No hair vs. All-Hair...

Well... That makes sense.

Says the multi-millionaire...

CALL HIM!

Grodd and Flash are gonna switch minds...

Maybe even Luthor, as well.

Ok, so it was Luthor and Flash. (Funny considering that in one universe Lex killed Flash...)

Can we say 'Trap'?...

Into the men's room, classic.

There goes Lex' rep...

So? He'll ram it.

Y'know... this isn't gonna be a 'classic' episode.

Tala, you're niether Linda nor Fire...

*chuckles maniacally.*

Figures. The one person who'd know that Luthor's body is Flash's mind is his greatest foe...

I'm actually with the giant monkey on this...

Man, the Helmet of Nabu can be a drawback.

So Flash's code is 006- ...something

Dr. Light (the good girl one), Ice (or Icemaiden, according to my Secret Origins books...), and Steel.

Teriffic fights dirty...

*Laughs.*

So Wally and Lex actually have something in common; neither care that much for Tala.

[J. T./Jessica]

MONDAY MAGIC AND MADNESS
(4/6)

Power Rangers Mystic Force
"Rock Solid"

I suspect a Basilisk will be involved...

Xander's supervising... again...

"We don't have 8-track tapes, you neanderthal!"

I wonder how the oldies section would taste...

Buying wintergreen flavored toothpaste is spontaneous?

Well, I take it Leelee's gonna be one of the Bulk and Skull types for PRMF...

Other way around, Blondie. There are Rangers in Briarwood BECAUSE there's weird things happening...

Clare turned herself into a goldfish...

Poor Toby... DON'T EAT THE RECORD!!!

Uh... Monster?

Like calling her by name or 'Sis' won't give away your identities?

So we've got a last name for Chip - Thorn.

Damn, I was hoping Vida and Nick would hook up. But it looks more like Nick and Madison.

Galwit Mysto Ranger! (Rangers)

Galwit Mysto Aerotan! (Racers)

Stickzoids? What happened to the Hideaks?

Galwit Mysto Motro! (Speeders)

You guys are doomed...

Ok, we get the idea, Nick can ride a bike real good and even fight while doing so. MOVE ON!

God... The attack that BEATS Udonna does Nothing against Nick? Yeah, right!

Red Ranger to the rescue... AGAIN!

Reflectus Torgo! (Some kind of mirror/shield)

And she runs in UNMORPHED!?!? Don't these new rangers have any idea what 'Secrecy' is?

Galwit Mysto Prifior! (Mystic Titans)

Galwit Mysto Unios! (Titan Megazord)

The cockpit's like a CHESSBOARD?! You know, I like this series overall, but some parts of it are so LAME...

The Blue Ranger's blushing red...

----

Get Ed
"(?)"

And you just lost the PACKAGE, BURN!

You're right - it's hilarious.

Last I checked, it was OL' SKOOL'S CREW!

Because Burn's an idiot.

Never mess with someone with a recording device...

Burn's a jerk as well...

Clones and Clowns... the makings of a really bad day...

That was... interesting...

Maybe not, but he STILL has the training from Dojo! (Believe me, I'm speaking from similar experience on this one!)

PLEASE tell me that Ed will eventually replace Burn as team leader...

Frag that: ADVANCE TO THE REAR!!! (*Ducks and covers*)

"Put down the food and step away from the table" -- Ol' Skool to break up a food fight.

I say BURN is the problem, he's even going after fellow Dojo couriers, much less Loogie!

Depends on WHO you're fighting...

Considering you take things TOO seriously, Dojo needs someone to balance things out....

Interviewing a HOVER SQUIRREL?!?!

When in doubt, use heavy artillery.

*Blinks*

I say again, the CATFISH is the sanest one...

I... don't think they heard you in the ba-ack...

Talk about your set-ups.

I almost feel sorry for Burn...

----

ATOM
"Blackout"

Oh, boy...

Some kind of EMP?

What's the matter, Hawk? Never had to land a brick with wings before?

Yeah, you can fly it in your sleep. Can you fly it while awake is the question.

Someone smack Hawk upside the head...

I think you just found it...

HEY! Hawk stole my line!

Hawk. Shut up.

...Kill him.

Never say you'll do 'anything'.

Why would anyone need to give up their seat? There's SIX seats in the cockpit and only FIVE teens...

PLEASE kill Hawk...

Oh, look. It's Kryptonite...

Great, Paine's even MORE powerful.

I almost feel sorry for Hawk when that story airs...

"And the winner will cry... CHICKEN!"

Spydah.... Doc Ock you ain't...

Paine's daughter? Okay, I must've missed an ep somewhere...

Hawk... Shut UP!

A smart reporter... (Amazingly, it's not as uncommon as you think.) I wonder if she'll be a repeat ally for the teens.

Night Ops gear? Cool!

You know Hawk, you and Brad would get along like wildfire...

Obligatory "unwilling to admit it" couple scene!

---

Well, until next time...

[JP Gibb]

So, [adult swim] is going to start showing "Pee Wee's Playhouse" July 10th.

Am I the only human alive that doesn't get it?


I watched exactly ONE episode, waaay back when, and even then I knew it was crap.

Also, old rant, but when did the CARTOON NETWORK stop showing cartoons?


The good news is MTV2 starts showing NEW Celebrity Death Match episodes this Saturday at noon.

[J. T./Jessica]

Noon-Sat? YES! (CDM is one of the few things on MTV/2 that I like)

[JP Gibb]

www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/2971/

Seriously, WTF?

[JP Gibb]

Short comment/rant:

Starting this week, Star Trek: TOS is going back into syndication to celebrate the 40th anniversary. All well and good...

EXCEPT

They redid the effects, and the THEME!

[J. T./Jessica]

Gibb... Star Trek 2.0's been out a few months...

[Mortimus]

. . . . .wow. . . . . .I just checked out the folgers coffee thing that you posted gibb. That's incredibly. . . . .disturbing. If I woke up one morning with that happening. . . . .someone would end up dead. Whoever came up with that commercial needs to be shot.

[JP Gibb]

turbomagnus said:

Gibb... Star Trek 2.0's been out a few months...

No, this isn't what's on G4.

This is in syndication (check local listings, maybe your NBC affiliate) starting next weekend, and it doesn't have the Spock Market or any of that stuff. It's the original series, "enhanced" with new effects.

[J. T./Jessica]

*Groans*

We're doomed...

[JP Gibb]

***Warning: general commentary/snappishness ahead***

So.

I finished G1 Transformers Sunday. I'd forgotten most of two and three, it was nice to see them again.

Followed that up with the last two eps of Inu Yasha. WTF?! Could they maybe wrap something up? I know, the manga's still being produced, so they couldn't end the series first. It's still annoying.

Started Transformers Headmasters after that. Ouch. Eww. Gah.

Okay, I bought a bootleg copy of a series not released in the States. I thought I'd set my expectations accordingly. Nope. They apparently went back to 1965 to do the dubbing, 'cause this sounds as bad as the old Speed Racer. I swear, there's four guys and one woman doing all the voices, and they made no real attempt to change up their accents. The translation is terrible. Why, oh why were they calling Blaster "Billy" and Blurr "Wally"? I'm not ashamed to say I gave up after the first disc. I just couldn't follow it.

Followed all this up with the Steelers game.

Needless to say I turned in early...