Weird News

[Enigma!]

Nononononoooo...

[JP Gibb]

Somehow, I'm not surprised. A crook surrounds himself with crooks, after all...

[Enigma!]

(From "Quick Takes" by Zay N. Smith, The Chicago Sun-Times Wednesday, Nov. 16, 2005)

Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =

Counterfeiters in Avondale, Ariz., sent a printer out for repair when it became jammed with the counterfeit bills they were making, police said.

[Enigma!]

(From "Quick Takes" by Zay N. Smith, The Chicago Sun-Times Thursday, Nov. 17, 2005)

News Item: Santa Clauses in Switzerland will now be forbidden to allow children to sit on their laps because the close contact with children might give rise to fears of pedophilia.

Ho, ho, ho!

[J. T./Jessica]

Only in the modern world...

[JP Gibb]

The Euros have lost their minds, that's all there is to it.

[Enigma!]

(From "Quick Takes, by Zay N. Smith", The Chicago Sun Times Monday, November 28, 2005:)

"The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators (cont'd):

Teachers in Johnstown, Pa., are being asked to avoid snowman decorations in classrooms because "snowman" is increasingly used as street slang for a cocaine dealer...

And a quick reminder to teachers decorating classrooms in Johnstown, Pa.:

*Sleigh ride: Cocaine.

*Reindeer dust: Heroin.

*Christmas tree: Marijuana or amphetamines.

*Candy cane: Cocaine.

*Snowball: Heroin and cocaine combination.

*Angel: PCP

Ho, ho, ho!"

For those of you who may think holiday insanity is reserved for the Europeans.

[JP Gibb]

Ah hell, I knew 'Muricans were nuts too; especially the ones in school boards.

[Enigma!]

(From "Quick Takes, by Zay N. Smith", The Chicago Sun Times Tuesday, November 29, 2005:)

"50 Cent praising President Bush, whom he finds 'incredible . . . a gangsta':

'I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him.'

Get someone on the phone. How soon can this meeting be set up?"

[J. T./Jessica]

Bush Called for Jury Duty in Texas
Dec 1, 1:44 PM (ET)

WACO, Texas (AP) - President Bush could get a new title: juror No. 286. Someday, but not Monday, when he was summoned for jury duty.

The president was among 600 potential jurors summoned to report to court in McLennan County, where his 1,600-acre Crawford ranch is located.

State District Judge Ralph Strother told the Waco Tribune-Herald he expected to get a response about the summons but didn't expect Bush to report for duty.

"I don't think I'll be sending the sheriff out to bring the president in," said Strother, a Republican who has a grandson serving in Iraq. "It seems to me that the president has plenty of things to occupy his attention. Jury duty is a very important civic function, but running the country, I think, especially in wartime, takes priority over jury service."

White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Thursday that the president intends to serve, just not on Monday. The president hadn't received the summons, but the White House reached out to the court after media accounts surfaced and was informed that the summons was for Monday, McClellan.

"We have since called the court to inform them that the president has other commitments on Monday and that he would like to reschedule his jury duty," he said. "We will be working with the court to reschedule his jury duty. ... Jury duty is an important civic responsibility and it's important that people do serve."

Although Bush won't serve this time, his Democratic rival in the 2004 election served on a Massachusetts jury last month. Kerry not only served, but was elected foreman of the Suffolk Superior Court jury, which rejected a claim by two men who sued the city of Boston for injuries suffered in a car accident involving a school principal.

apnews.excite.com/article/20051201/D8E7K9000.html

[Enigma!]

...

So many comments I could make. Just SO many. But I won't go there this time.

[J. T./Jessica]

Anyone want to hear something that will scare them worse than Christian Bale's Batman interrogating them ever would?

Tuesday is December sixth...

Two years ago, on that date, almost a month exactly from another major event in my life, I shared my first kiss with the woman who I am proud to claim as my wife.

A year later, in December of 2004, we were engaged...

And on August Twentieth, In the year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Five, we entered into a state of matrimony to go along with my own state of insanity-OW!

Johnnie, as near-impossible as it seems, be serious - at least for this.

Yes, mo leannan...

Anyway, to honor a little over two years of knowing each other, two years of being together, and a year of being engaged/married, I am...

*Chuckles maniacally.*

Muses, that is, both Amanda's and Daniel's... Batten down the hatches, because they're about to freak...

I am writing a story based on mine and Jessica's relationship (the beginning of it, at least) - names changed, of course...

*Smirks and leans forward.*

Other than that though, accurate; including...

*Doesn't quite smirk like her husband, but definately looks like a canary-stuffed cat.*

INCLUDING the more erotic moments. I'm planning on posting it to Literotica when/if I get it finished.

You may now begin running around and screaming your heads off.

[Enigma!]

... Okay. I kinda figured that you'd do someting like that sooner or later.

I expected sooner...

[J. T./Jessica]

As a little torture, the first paragraph:

This is another one of those 'my ex-dumped me and I found someone new' stories, even the setting - December - is overdone. So, basically, stop me if you've heard this before, okay? Whether it's based on real life or someone's imagination, we all know that the jilted lover usually winds up with their best friend, or their best friend's sibling, etc...

[Enigma!]

And...?