Post by J. T./Jessica on Sept 17, 2005 19:24:08 GMT -5
We all know of the ORIGINAL Evil Overlord List, which, unfortunately, isn't being updated anymore, right?
(It's at www.eviloverlord.com for the deprived souls who've never read it...)
Well, I had a thought that, for shits and giggles, we'd list what those of us here would do if WE ever became Evil Overlords...
I'll start! (A small notice, please number your rules to rule by... As a possible future Evil Overlord, THIS I COMMAND!)
1. All light bulbs will be made out of bulletproof glass to prevent the hero from shooting out the lights and having the cover of darkness to move in.
2. Instead of not challenging the hero to single combat or challenging him to single combat and cheating, I will challenge the hero to single combat and fight fair and square, I'm a better fighter than he is and this way I won't have to worry about any plans backfiring and helping the hero or harming me.
3. I will know how to, and will cook and serve my own meals, that way no poison, sleeping compound, or parayasis compound can be added by a hero masquerading as a cook.
4. If I overthrew a previous Evil Overlord and they are now in forced servitude to me, I will not listen to their advice; they are probably in colusion with the hero and, even if they're not, they were overthrown by me, so my knowledge is obviously better than their's.
5. I will not time-travel into the past in an attempt to stop the hero from ever becoming a hero. It usually turns out that my 'interference' with the timestream is what caused them to become the hero in the first place.
6. If I choose to have someone's memory wiped, I will have EVERYONE that they might come in contact with's memory wiped and be sure to leave no clues that their memory was wiped.
7. I will never use impregnable forcefields, although they do not permit anything outside in, they have an annoying habit of preventing things from inside getting out, important things like my Evil Overlord escape craft, for example.
(It's at www.eviloverlord.com for the deprived souls who've never read it...)
Well, I had a thought that, for shits and giggles, we'd list what those of us here would do if WE ever became Evil Overlords...
I'll start! (A small notice, please number your rules to rule by... As a possible future Evil Overlord, THIS I COMMAND!)
1. All light bulbs will be made out of bulletproof glass to prevent the hero from shooting out the lights and having the cover of darkness to move in.
2. Instead of not challenging the hero to single combat or challenging him to single combat and cheating, I will challenge the hero to single combat and fight fair and square, I'm a better fighter than he is and this way I won't have to worry about any plans backfiring and helping the hero or harming me.
3. I will know how to, and will cook and serve my own meals, that way no poison, sleeping compound, or parayasis compound can be added by a hero masquerading as a cook.
4. If I overthrew a previous Evil Overlord and they are now in forced servitude to me, I will not listen to their advice; they are probably in colusion with the hero and, even if they're not, they were overthrown by me, so my knowledge is obviously better than their's.
5. I will not time-travel into the past in an attempt to stop the hero from ever becoming a hero. It usually turns out that my 'interference' with the timestream is what caused them to become the hero in the first place.
6. If I choose to have someone's memory wiped, I will have EVERYONE that they might come in contact with's memory wiped and be sure to leave no clues that their memory was wiped.
7. I will never use impregnable forcefields, although they do not permit anything outside in, they have an annoying habit of preventing things from inside getting out, important things like my Evil Overlord escape craft, for example.
