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Post by Enigma! on Oct 25, 2005 11:37:23 GMT -5
39: All soldiers will either be given special helmets to block psychic waves, or genetically enhanced with natural telepathy-negating brain waves, so that no one falls for any Vulcan Mind Melds, Jedi Mind Tricks, or the like.
(Inspired by Item 77 of the 213 Things Skippy Can't Do.)
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Oct 25, 2005 12:46:43 GMT -5
40. My guards will be instructed into CONFIRMING that they're being relieved with a higher ranking officer before relinquishing their posts to anyone. If confirmation is negative, they will have orders to start shooting.
41. Anyone caught showing the hero how to do anything will be executed on the spot. (See "Spaceballs"...)
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Oct 29, 2005 17:38:44 GMT -5
42. My Legions of Terror will be made to understand that plans do not always work out and that if they do not improvise and succeed, then they will die for their failure. Not their failure to achieve their objective, that can be tried again, but for their failure to make the money and time spent training them worth it.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Nov 7, 2005 20:25:39 GMT -5
43. I will never use a weapon that takes longer to arm, aim and fire than it will for the hero to cover the distance between us.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Nov 19, 2005 16:42:12 GMT -5
44. Before being moved from footsoldiers in my Legions of Terror to guards in my fortress, any candidate must understand the difference between a circular patrol/kill zone and a spherical one. Any who fail this test will be summarily executed.
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Post by JP Gibb on Nov 21, 2005 21:13:38 GMT -5
45. Do not form alliances with my fellow overlords. One of them will always try to stab me in the back. Kill them all, then usurp their holdings.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Nov 21, 2005 21:47:58 GMT -5
46. I will make certain my troops understand 'Appropriate Force'. That means that anyone endangering the life of someone I have sent them to capture, or anyone going easy on someone I have sent them to kill - WILL be executed.
(Yes, there probably will be a lot of executions in my regime, but the troops that survive will be the best!)
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Post by JP Gibb on Jan 16, 2006 16:43:16 GMT -5
*Casts a 'resurection' spell on the thread.*
47. Should my beloved die, I will not create a clone in a needlessly complex, nigh impossible attempt to bring her back.
A.K.A. The Gendo Ikari Rule
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jan 16, 2006 17:54:59 GMT -5
48. When I discover that someone I was interested in before my rise to power is now a high-ranking member of a rebellion, I will not let what was or might have been stop me from metting out the appropriate punishment.
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Post by JP Gibb on Jan 16, 2006 18:24:14 GMT -5
48A. Ditto for family
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jan 16, 2006 19:12:07 GMT -5
49. I will not get ideas for diabolical plans from movies, TV, or comic books.
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Post by light on Jan 16, 2006 20:31:53 GMT -5
50. I will not bulid a highly secret Giant Robot only to have the hero steal. *AKA the Gundam Rule*
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jan 16, 2006 21:16:08 GMT -5
50. No matter how diseased I think the world is, I will not try to destroy it and create 'a New Eden' in its place.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 6, 2006 21:37:57 GMT -5
51. My guards will be ordered not to follow any set patterns with patrols and/or searchlights.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Apr 7, 2006 19:45:03 GMT -5
52. All computer stations will be manned by personnel trained in their proper use. The same goes for vehicles and their maintenance staff and the maintenance staff for my fortress itself. Anyone found in a location without the proper identifications and qualifications will be summarily executed.
53. Members of my legions of terror's technical divisions will be instructed that there is no such thing as a 'glitch'. All 'glitches' are to be considered full-scale infiltrations by the hero and his party until such time as it has been deemed otherwise through thourough investigation of both the equipment and my fortress itself.
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