[PRL] Ranger Mail

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Subject: I'm scared.

Body:
Your fiance's on the warpath and dragging my wife along with her - do something.

Jason Lee Scott.

---

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Find a Shelter

Body:
...And wait it out, Schpanky. My mother might have borne a lunatic, but I'm not stupid - there ain't no way in the Nine Hells that I'm getting between them and whoever their target is (and I'm praying it ain't me).

The Dragon Spirit may be a Force of Nature, but it pales in comparison to a Redhead On A Mission, especially when she has the Cycle of Life and Death at her command.

J.T. Magnus
Black Literati Dragon Ranger
"What does the Detective's Handbook suggest for this situation?"
"It mentions prayer."

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Re: Latest Black

Body:
Well, at least he managed to keep tradition by getting in a bad relationship the first time...

Gotta say, though, he and Jessica are almost scary at times with how they are - sometimes I think they're less J.T. and Jessica than they are J.T./Jessica, one person with two bodies. Then again, her parents ARE scary when it comes to their relationship - they think of him as their son as much as she's their daughter, don't blink when they spend an unnatural amount of time kissing...

Man, I even heard that the first time those two spent the night together, all her parents had to say was that it was about time...

Da Zack Man.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

44-3. Zordon is not Yoda, either. This is starting to get old, boys.

46. Anything from "Dr. Demento" has been added to the list of things that are not to be used as battle cries. - Amazingly enough, this was caused by Daniel, not J.T.

Jessica.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Forty-seven; You do not need to sing 'Jungle Boogie' every time one of the Jungle Rangers enters the room.

Jessica.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Good News

Body:
J.T.;
You'll probably consider this to be good news - after the "obstacle course" last week, you've gained a new nickname among Silver Guardian recruits, I understand they're now referring to you as the 'Psycho-lizard Bastard'.

Did you really use your Spiritzord as the last obstacle?

Wes.

---

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Re: Good News

Body:
Yes, I DO consider that to be good news - the crazier they think I am, the more on their toes it'll keep 'em.

And yes, I did.

J.T. Magnus
Black Literati Dragon Ranger
"Dragon, not lizard - I don't do dat tongue thing."

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Forty-eight; Take down the scoreboard. This kill-points contest is getting out of hand.

Jessica.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Weather Reports...

Body:

Would the pair of idiots with the fire and ice zords STOP using them to cover the city in fog?

---

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Subject: Pair of idiots?

We're not a pair of idiots, we're an idiot and a moron.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Forty-nine; Just because we've been asked to sit-in on negotiations doesn't mean we're Jedi - get rid of the robes, stop trying to build lightsabers, and for God's sake DO NOT attempt 'aggressive negotiations'.

Jessica.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Fifty; No More 'Pig Runs'.

Signed; ALL the females.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Fifty-One; "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" is not the Literati Ranger theme song.
Fifty-One A; At least, not officially.
Fifty-One B: Remember, officially we don't have a theme song... or keyrings, potholders, T-shirts or anything else of that sort.
Fifty-One C; And our team motto is not "Don't Panic."
Fifty-One D; Remember, the general public doesn't know what Rangers are really like inside the helmets and it's best they don't find out - it'd be like telling little kids there is no Santa. (No comments from the two who spend each Christmas trying to capture Santa, please.)

Jessica.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Fifty-Two; The phrase 'liar, liar, pants on fire' is not to be accompanied with lighters, flamethrowers, Dragon Burners or fire magick.

Jessica.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Fifty-Three; The Ric Flair impressions stop now.

Jessica.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Fifty-Four; "The Scotsman Song" is not to be played during battles.

Jessica.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Exc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]; [e-mail]
Subject: Last movie night.

Body:
Fifty dollar bounty is now issued for the identity of whosoever added "Bringing Up Baby" to the stack on Thursday.

I don't have a problem with Katherine Hepburn, far from it - "My Fair Lady" remains one of my favorite movies - but since our collective ultimate goal is to reunite Tommy (hereafter referred to as 'Grandpa') and Kimberly (Hereafter referred to as 'Kim')...

I DON'T, however, think we need to be showing movies about a paleontologists falling in love with a woman played by an actress named 'Katherine' - this is detrimental to the operation!

J.T. Magnus
Black Literati Dragon Ranger
"This would be so much easier if they had twin daughters." -- J.T.

[J. T./Jessica]

From: [e-mail]
To: All
Subject: Add.; Re: Scenic Command Center Rules.

Body:

Fifty-Five; Stop playing the "Walker, Texas Ranger" theme song, I don't care if it does fit.

Jessica.