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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jan 8, 2007 23:58:28 GMT -5
78. If I choose to use an already existing structure as my base of operations, I will NOT use something obvious, well-known, and difficult to defend. This includes malls, schools, courthouses, city halls, or presidental residences. A nice little house on the edge of town with a white picket fence, clean yard, front porch swing and massive underground fortress will do nicely. No one ever suspects it.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jan 9, 2007 0:05:12 GMT -5
79. I will not use magic or science to corrupt one of the heroes to my service. They always break free or are freed by the other heroes and it pisses them off something awful...
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jan 11, 2007 12:02:22 GMT -5
80. Even if they are firmly on my side, I will not involve the hero's former partner turned bad in any operations involving the hero.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jan 19, 2007 12:28:46 GMT -5
81. Before calling a meeting of my advisors to discuss my latest plot, I will first pay attention to how my secretary or six-year-old advisor reacts to the basic idea. If the secretary lists it in the schedule as 'waste of time' or my six-year-old advisor is confused, I'll file it away for a later date and come up with a different plot.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 11, 2007 18:44:15 GMT -5
82. I will hired trained experts to design all facilities, weapons and vehicles to ensure that they will not explode for no reason if damaged.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 11, 2007 22:58:40 GMT -5
83. Assassin Robots, if used, will be programmed to be polite and courteous, even to their targets while attempting to kill them. It makes people nervous.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 13, 2007 16:58:11 GMT -5
84. The plumbers and Waste Disposal Experts hired to design the piping for my fortress will be strictly instructed to avoid any pipes large enough for a person to walk or crawl through on pain of a fate worse than death - I'll dock their pay.
85. If man-sized pipes are Absolutely unavoidable, they will be guarded twenty-four hours a day by three guards, one position on a eight-hour shift, one on a six-hour shift, and one on a four, with shift start times staggered to ensure that at least two guards are already on duty whenever one of the guards has a shift change.
86. Weaponized Hallucigins... No. Just... No.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 14, 2007 12:32:00 GMT -5
87. Any of my underlings found to be developing an obsession with the hero who beat them will be reassigned or, if that fails, shot. It's one thing for me the Evil Overlord to be obsessed with beating the hero, but it hampers their effectiveness when field agents and commanders are that way.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 19, 2007 15:07:46 GMT -5
88. Because a surplus can be as supicious as a debt, if I bribe someone I will not deposit their payment in their own bank account, instead I will give them access to an entirely new account in a neutral location with the funds.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 21, 2007 18:29:17 GMT -5
89. Although they are classics, my torture chambers will not feature items such as the rack, a pressing table, whips, chains, canes, rods or anything of the sort. They will instead be equipped with the world's most powerful speakers playing Brittney Speares, the Spice Girls, the Dixie Chicks, and "Achy Breaky Heart" twenty-four hours a day until the subjects break.
(Inspired by JMS's comment that "Playing 'My Achy Breaky Heart' to an unwilling listener is specifically forbidden under the Geneva War Crimes rules.")
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Apr 19, 2007 18:13:01 GMT -5
90. If I use any form of wire fencing as the perimeter for an installation for my legions of terror, the wire will be custom-made to set off an alarm when the outer housing of it is cut.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jun 2, 2007 8:49:18 GMT -5
91. I will be curteous and helpful to my subjects and people I'm not currently engaged in conflict with - One day I will call upon them to repay any favors I do them and they had best provide...
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jun 2, 2007 18:56:07 GMT -5
92. The enemy of my enemy is NOT my friend. The enemy of my enemy is a tool that I will use to defeat my enemy and then obliterate - just in case they decide to come after me next. I'm an Evil Overlord, backstabbing is allowed.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jun 22, 2007 21:44:45 GMT -5
(This is actually from Amanda.)
93. Parallel Parking will be illegal. Anyone caught parking in such a manner or making a parking space for it will be summarily executed.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Aug 5, 2007 12:12:37 GMT -5
94. Having an heir that I will attempt to use to fulfill an ancient prophecy... No. Just, No.
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