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Post by J. T./Jessica on Apr 30, 2010 22:03:04 GMT -5
60. Unless granted an excuse based on storyline and location, all videogames must conform to natural physics.
(This means no cars that go faster for the computer than the player.
No cases where a friggin' headbutt does more damage than a sword.
No cases of the computer being able to use multiple special attacks in a row while the player has to charge them between uses.
And most definately no enemies that are stronger as a sub-boss than they were as a boss on the preceeding two levels...)
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Post by BloodAngel on Jul 28, 2010 11:59:38 GMT -5
All yarn must be sold in center pull skeins. Any brand caught selling yarn in any other manner (Hanks, twists, ect) will have their CEO (If the company does not have a CEO, the highest paid member of their staff will be used), any spokesperson the brand may have, and the head of their marketing department sit and hand wind every single skein into a usable center pull ball until such time as 1) All hanks, twists, ect, are corrected and 2) the factories are refitted to produce center pull skeins.
Hand dyed yarn shall be exempt.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jul 28, 2010 13:42:31 GMT -5
62. In a similar vein, all shoelaces must be one-piece laces. Any companies found producing 'Core' laces will be closed and their assets donated to charity.
(Personal note; I HATE 'core' style laces. the outer skin always breaks and bunches up around the eyelets when you try to remove it...)
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Aug 27, 2010 20:10:24 GMT -5
63. All Video Games Designers must be gamers themselves and all games must be playtested by real world (I.E., non-Designer, non-Programmer Gamers) gamers and (considering that I rule the world at this point) ME.
If either the gamers or myself don't like something - it goes.
(Let's just say that the final boss in inFamous, on hard, has pissed me off to the point where I quit. I started at seven this morning, fought him until noon and never beat him - mostly the same damn ONE/EIGHTH of his health bar - quit and took a nap because I was starting to have an episode, then came back and still couldn't beat him so I ended up doing something I rarely do...
I gave up. I quit. I said 'to hell with it'.)
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Post by BloodAngel on Sept 3, 2010 4:27:31 GMT -5
64. Film critics will not be permitted to criticize films unless they have been an actor previously (High school drama will suffice) and can prove they did not sleep through their second level literature class in college. If they cannot prove this, they will be required to retake said class.
They must also read and understand the Viewers are Morons and the Viewers are Geniuses pages on TV Tropes.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Dec 13, 2010 15:22:45 GMT -5
65. "(I am) Henry the Eighth" shall be banned from playing on radio or live streams and used instead for torture. (I muted the live stream I was listening to because the song that was playing was one I couldnae stand and when I unmuted it, 'Henry the Eighth' came blasting out causing my brains to liquify and run out my ears...)
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Post by BloodAngel on Dec 14, 2010 0:29:32 GMT -5
66. Before all performances/airings of "What Child Is This," there will be a required disclaimer of "This is not Greensleeves" so that Greensleeves fans will not be inevitably disappointed.
67. Until someone can produce a version of Little Drummer Boy that does not inspire your benevolent ruler to bash a hole into the little boy's drum, said carol will be outlawed. Celtic Woman and Jessica Simpson will be permanently barred from performing said carol.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Dec 14, 2010 7:51:22 GMT -5
Actually, I've got a fairly good rendition of LDB somewhere around here... don't know who by, though...
68. All radio stations and online streams shall be required to provide a daily list of all songs played during the previous day, repeats (I.E., playing the same song in both the morning and afternoon) will be excused.
I hate it when I hear a good song and can never find out the artist and/or title...
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Post by BloodAngel on Dec 14, 2010 8:48:02 GMT -5
Might I recommend last.fm? It always lists what you're listening to at that moment.
I've rather found myself an endless stream of Celtic music.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Dec 14, 2010 11:32:55 GMT -5
Hm... How are they on classic rock? (50's to the 80's)
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Post by BloodAngel on Dec 15, 2010 23:56:52 GMT -5
Haven't tried, but probably really good. It's free, either way.
Also, think you can come over really quick before the weekend? Christmas gift.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Dec 16, 2010 3:45:38 GMT -5
I can try... I think I should be over that way Friday anyway...
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Mar 9, 2011 8:52:03 GMT -5
69. Ad banners that are 'Click here and the website owner gets x cents' shall be banned and anyone found using them shall be forced to pay every cent earned using such banners into a special fund to pay webcomic creators for their work.
70. Frame ads (those like on FF.net where the ad opens in a frame that blocks you from accessing the page you're trying to read) and 'This page is locked. Download the program below from our sponsors to unlock it' ads shall be banned and the penalty for use shall be the webmaster of any site found using them being made to take computer programming and web design courses from the beginning.
71. Any site found using redirect code in ad banners (that is, the banner loads and then hijacks your browser and redirects it to someone else's page), especially bull-crap 'Your Computer is at Risk! Download our AV software NOW!' things... will face... consequences. HARSH consequences. Fatal ones... (Yes, I DO hate those...)
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Dec 27, 2011 23:54:16 GMT -5
72. Anyone caught camping in online multiplayer games will be shot. (Seriously, there's a difference between legit sniping and friggin' camping, people. Especially when your little hideout just happens to friggin' overlook the respawn point and you're killing people back off just as soon as they respawn!)
73. Any videogame that requires a player to move more than their hands shall be banned.
(Heavy Rain's a good game with a couple annoying flaws... one is that the way the conversation system is set up rushes you and another is that you have to jerk the controller in all directions as part of the six-axis control setup... Cripes, if I wanted a game where I had to raise and slam my arms down or throw them from side to side, I'd try Guitar Hero or Rock Band... or DDR, for that matter. I bought it because it was a 'Psychological Thriller', not because I thought I needed exercise or some smeg...)
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Dec 31, 2011 1:54:45 GMT -5
74. As part of the ongoing quest to make video games suck less, all vehicle designs for video games will have to be reviewed by companies that make vehicles in the appropriate catagory to ensure if not realism, then at least not blatant ridiculousness.
(I.E., a game involves a plane as a vehicle, the game maker would have to run the design specs by, say... Northrop or Hughes, for example, to ensure that the speed, manueverability, weapons loadout, etc. are within reason for the design...
So flippin' tired of vehicles that even when boosting are probably topping out at maybe sixty miles an hour and despite being sports cars, for example, have the turn radius of an eighteen-wheeler... and jets with missiles... ruddy hate jets with just missiles... didn't these programmers ever watch 'Top Gun'? They weren't kidding about relying on missiles being a good way to get yourself shot down instead...)
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