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Post by Enigma! on Feb 21, 2007 15:01:07 GMT -5
Okay, so we all know what you'd do if you tried to conquer the world, but what are the rules you'd make if you actually succeeded? Here is where you can list the rules your subjects have to follow under pain of death.
1. If it can fit into a bag - any bag - then it is NOT a dog. It is a rodent, and must be kept in a cage at all times.
2. Everyone will have their fifteen minutes of fame, provided that they have some sort of talant. To this end, an army of Simon Cowel clones will randomly invade a citizens house and give them an impromtu audition. If the Simon clones believe you have any talant, you will be taken to a studio where you will perform for fifteen full minutes and be paid $1,000, tax free, for your time.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 23, 2007 14:56:54 GMT -5
(Re: 1.
What if it's a puppy? Or a big bag? Cause a Chow is DEFINATELY a dog, but they can fit in a bag of appropriate size...)
3. Telemarketers, Store Clerks who constantly interupt your shopping asking if you need help (Once is service, twice is a slow day, three times is a plain pain.), and the people who make those stupid "Free AOL" CDs will be tortured with Britney Speares music.
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Post by Enigma! on Feb 24, 2007 1:33:32 GMT -5
Okay. Let me amend rule 1.
"If it is an ADULT, and can fit into a HANDBAG OR PURSE, then it is NOT a dog. It is a rodent and must be kept in a cage at all times."
4. All gambling at major sporting events - i.e. the World Series, March Madness, Super Bowl, etc. - is legal. The Government will take no more than 20% of the profits as taxes.
5. If you live in an area that is prone to suffering natural disasters, and have the means to live anywhere else we will not pay for any damages your property endures during such disasters. You decided to stay there, so it's your own damned fault.
6. Gangsta rap, and anything by Britney Spears or the Dixie Chicks is banned from being played on the radio, TV, or the Web (except as a means of torture. See Rule 3).
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Feb 24, 2007 2:58:53 GMT -5
7. If someone commits, or attempts to commit a crime, then the person they victimized or planned to victimize, the responding officer, or any good-citizens that happen to intervene are LEGALLY PERMITTED to BEAT their ass and they can't do shit about it.
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Post by Enigma! on Mar 1, 2007 0:06:35 GMT -5
8. You only have to pay taxes if the guy you voted for wins.
9. Those who do not pick up after their dogs will be force to stick thier noses in their dogs poo as a police officer smack them in the head with a rolled up newspaper.
10. FREE HEALTH CARE. 'Nuff said.
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Post by BloodAngel on Mar 5, 2007 12:41:41 GMT -5
11) Dual sided DVDs will be illegal to produce. Owning them is still okay.
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Post by Enigma! on Mar 6, 2007 0:09:10 GMT -5
12. The minimum wage for any job is $8.50 an hour, and will be increased by $.50 bianually.
13. AT LEAST half of all workers employed at any corperation must work from, or be citizens of the country from which the company was founded.
14. CEOs of any large company cannot make more than 2.5 times more per hour than the lowest paid employee.
15. All corrupt coporations will be taken into the custody of your leader (me), half of the profits will be donated to charities, and ownership of the company will be given to a random citizen with a high school deploma.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Mar 8, 2007 23:27:12 GMT -5
16. Companies WILL NOT be allowed to have 'Metrics' or uniforms (dress codes, yes, uniforms, no.) without proper authorization from the ruler of the world.
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Post by Enigma! on Mar 10, 2007 23:37:48 GMT -5
17. All wars shall be fought by robots, so as to minimize human casualties.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Mar 11, 2007 0:23:52 GMT -5
18. These robots WILL NOT be tied into a central computer and anyone who suggests such will be immediately shot. (the Terminator movies' Skynet, Overmind from "Captain Power", that idea NEVER works....)
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Mortimus
Bard
"I look forward to killing you soon!"
Posts: 496
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Post by Mortimus on Apr 15, 2007 15:02:07 GMT -5
For rule #17. I would suggest making wars in video games. The countries involved can wage war in a massive MMO designed for battle. Each sides players will only have one life in the game, once their killed their done. And the winning country(ies) will be able to rebroadcast their victories over the other countries over the net.
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Post by Enigma! on May 28, 2007 23:47:35 GMT -5
19. All remaining human veterans shall receive 3 acres of land, a house (with free utilities and satelite TV) and free health care. It is the LEAST they deserve for their service to their country.
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Post by Enigma! on May 31, 2007 22:35:24 GMT -5
20. All major companies MUST either donate no less than 15% of their gross annual profits to charities, or pay up to 45% of their GAP in taxes. Their choice.
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Post by J. T./Jessica on Jun 2, 2007 8:26:26 GMT -5
21. A special government agency will be formed for the express purpose of hunting down start-up small businesses and seeing to it they have all the funding, supplies and such that they'll need for the first year.
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Post by Enigma! on Jun 5, 2007 23:49:38 GMT -5
22. All movies based on a pre-existing franchise must be thoroughly reviewed in the scripting, casting and editing stages by a panel consisting of an 8-year-old (to ensure that the plot is simple enough for him to get the basic grasp of it), an accredited film critic (to ensure that the film is actually GOOD) and a hardcore fan boy of the franchise (to ensure that the movie stays true to the source material, in spirit if not in continuity).
23. All producers, directors, script writers and editors of a bad films based on pre-existing franchises will be exiled to Guantanamo. The stars of the film will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis.
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